Things have been going well, and I give a lot of credit to what I have learned from your book, emails and this site.
However, this is not something I have ever done before and I am having a hard time with the idea of juggling.
I recall one time that I was dating two women simultaneously for about a month. My ambivalence was a feeling, more than a logical choice. You may not know the front-runner for the open position of “boyfriend”, but since you’re the CEO of Maggie, Inc, you’re going to take your sweet time to see how the interns perform in a limited capacity. In general, I think this is the best policy, because it’s a clear dividing line that any man can understand.
Both were cute, smart, cool, late 20’s, Jewish, and interested in me. Which is why I kept looking around on JDate for that entire month that I was seeing both of them. The faster they follow up, the more work they choose to take on, the quality of their performance – all will start to differentiate these two men to make your decision a lot easier. “I only sleep with boyfriends, and until we figure out if an exclusive relationship is the right course of action for both of us, we’re gonna have to just stick with some incredible foreplay!
There is an enduring instinct to treat people the way that we’d like to be treated.
With dating, this rule sadly doesn’t always hold true.
I know I need to make a decision before things go too far (becoming too physical), but how do I know when?
You weigh your pros and cons, you do your cost-benefit analysis, you use a little logic and a little emotion, and then make a largely arbitrary choice without knowing if you’re right. I stuck with that and avoided breaking a lot of hearts.And while I was hooking up with (not sleeping with) both of them, something didn’t feel right. One woman even called me on it – “How dare you get online after our great date? It was my right to look for other women if I didn’t feel I could commit to her. You’ve never heard of a woman standing on the altar with two men, have you? ” Only you can determine whether you can have sex with two guys simultaneously without a commitment to either of them. Either you will get attached or THEY will get attached – and since you haven’t figured out your feelings yet, I would think that attachment is something you’d want to avoid.Just as it’s her right to keep her options open until she finds a boyfriend-worthy man. I predict that by the time you read this, Maggie, everything will have sorted itself out.Many people may not see this as being a true problem.But I don’t know how much to say to these men, or not say because it’s so early in the relationship.
Making a decision about a guy is no different than any other decision.